


Eyes Closed

by pandorasxbox



Category: Being Human (UK), The Almighty Johnsons, The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Durincest?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Regret, Sex, Step-Brothers, non-god Anders Johnson, non-vampire John Mitchell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-02-01 16:30:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12708696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasxbox/pseuds/pandorasxbox
Summary: Should have never happened, but what else could he have done? Kili was hurting, and all he wanted to do was comfort him, but he crossed the line. Fili couldn’t help the fact his step-brother was the hottest guy he knew, but that was the problem, wasn’t it? Kili was his step-brother.Disclaimer: I do not own these Tolkien/Jackson/Being Human UK/The Almighty Johnson charactersStory is completely inspired by the Halsey song "Eyes Closed"





	1. Chapter 1

********** 

Fili opened his eyes.

Mesmerized by the bubbles floating in his golden brew, he snorted, “I'm such a moron!” 

Finishing off his beer, he motioned the bartender over, and ordered another. 

A fresh, cold mug appeared on the bar with a bowl of complimentary pretzels. 

“You look like you might need someone to lend an ear more than you need another drink, lad.”

Was he really that transparent, or more drunk than he thought? Not drunk enough to forget, that was for sure. 

“Honestly Bofur, I’d rather do a few shots of whiskey.” He wasn’t in a talking kind of mood this evening. 

“Where’s Kili? Rare not to see you two together.”

Fili let out an exasperated breath.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s alright.” He sighed, and took a long draw from his full mug. Maybe he could drown himself in it. “It’s all my fault.”

~*~

Kili slammed his apartment door, and threw himself on his couch. Why did his brother have to make everything so complicated? 

He grabbed the remote off the coffee table, and flipped through Netflix trying to find something, anything to take his mind off Fili. 

That leftover pizza sounded pretty good right about now. 

Before he got too involved in his movie, Kili warmed up his pizza, grabbed a few bottles of beer from the fridge, and settled on the couch for the evening.

Unfortunately, fifteen minutes into his movie, his cell lit up. 

“Fuck.” 

He didn’t have to look to see who it was. He was positive he didn’t want to answer it, letting any messages go to voicemail. There was not a single person he wanted talk to right now, especially not if it was either of the two people he least wanted to hear from right now. 

But just before he fell asleep, curiosity got the best of him. Listening to the message, he growled, slamming the phone down on the mattress. "I don't know what to do..." 

~*~

Fili thanked Bofur for bringing him home, and stumbled through his apartment, falling onto his bed. At least he thought it was his bed somewhere under the pile of laundry he was laying on. Thank goodness the clothes were clean. 

Tossing and turning, he couldn't stop thinking about last night. About the fight he and Kili had hours ago. Why the fuck couldn't he pass out already? The one night he wished he could fall into unconsciousness, sleep mocked him letting him wallow in his misery a little longer. 

He couldn’t help the fact his step-brother was the hottest guy he knew, but that was the problem, wasn’t it? Kili was his step-brother.

Should have never happened, but what else could he have done? Kili was drunk and hurting when he came to him last night, and all he wanted to do was comfort him; but in the heat of the moment, everything changed.

"Why did I let it happen? And for fuck sake, why did I tell Kili I was _in love_ with him?" 

Fili closed his eyes.

He was in love with Kili.

Kili loved him too.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this story was written months ago, but I'm hung up on who the OMC's for the boys should be.  
> For Fili, I wanted non-vampire John Mitchell because, well, he's hot and he 'looks like' Kili (and that's very important to the plot), and he's around the proper age for him in this fic.  
> But I can't decide who Kili's asshole boyfriend should be :/ I'm thinking this might be best for a made up OMC, but I'm not a fan of OCs an only use them when necessary.  
> So! I'm throwing it out there in hopes you lovely readers could help me out with opinions and suggestions! I'm open to any other fandom character for him as well ;) Also, let me know if you're okay with John for Fili.
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili painfully remembers Friday and Saturday night with much regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A HUGE thank you to Gonesouth27, KiliLover, Arabian Nights(Milomouse), and Silva_13 for their comments on the first chapter! I appreciate your responses and input on my quest for this story's antagonist, and Anders Johnson was the winner. I had him in mind from the begin, but like Silva_13, I had a hard time envisioning Kili with him. With that said, even though I wasn't sold on him, he really fits the character role for this story perfectly.  
> Sorry if I disappointed anyone, but I hope you'll still enjoy the story!
> 
> Continued Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Being Human UK or The Almighty Johnsons that appear.

By late Sunday evening, it was quite obvious Kili did _not_ want to discuss what happened between them Friday night. In a fit of frustration, Fili's cell flew across the room, and bounced off a chair. 

"Stop ignoring me, and answer your goddamn phone, Kili! Fuck!" 

Falling back onto the couch, he scrubbed his bearded face in his hands, and let his eyes close. _"I'm sorry!"_

_Like every Friday after a long day at work, Fili met his brother at their favorite bar to unwind with a couple of beers. Exceptionally excited to see his boyfriend this evening, Kili rambled on. It was their one year anniversary, and he was sure Anders had something special planned for them._

_"...And I think he's going to ask me to move in with him!"_

_Fili grinned. There was nothing he loved more than to see his brother's radiant smile. Kili was positively beaming, giddy with anticipation over the prospect Anders might actually ask him to live with him._

_"That's great, Kee."_

_Truth be told, Fili never liked Anders. Besides being a smooth talker, he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was about the older man that raised his hackles, but he made Kili happy, and for that, he tolerated him, though the idea of his twenty-two year old brother moving in with Anders made his gut twist. 'If he does anything to hurt him, I'll kill him!'_

*

 _Fili's roommate, Bard was gone visiting family over the weekend. Unsure of what to do with his alone time, he thought about hitting the club. Maybe he'd get lucky and find someone to hook up with for the night, but he was much too tired. Just the thought of weeding through losers to find a decent guy to bed was exhausting, and most of the time not worth the trouble._

_An evening on the couch with his Chinese takeout, a few beers, and that television series he'd been meaning to catch up on was proving to be the better more relaxing option until someone banging on his door just before midnight brought his quiet evening to a screeching halt._

_"Kili, what's wrong?"_

_"Anders left me!"_

_Keeping a tight grip on the pilfered bottle of vodka, Kili stumbled in knocking Fili out of the way, waving his arms about dramatically._

_"I can't believe he broke up with me!"_

_Fili rolled his head with a sigh, and closed the door. Somehow this news didn't come as a much of a shock to him as much as it had devastated Kili. 'Anders is a deadman!'_

_Making himself at home, Kili plopped onto the couch, and took a drink of his boyfriend's favorite alcohol. "Anders loves this stuff more than me!" The tears returned and like a damn bursting, he sobbed, slamming the bottle onto the coffee table._

_Fili hurried to his brother's side. Wrapping his arms around him, Kili tucked his head beneath his brother's chin, and fisted Fili's tee soaking the material with his tears._

_"Shhh...Tell me what happened."_

_"He said he met someone. Assuming she's blonde and stupid. Stupid like me!" He choked out._

_"Hey!" Fili breathed. Speaking softly, he pulled back, and coaxed Kili to look at him. "You're not stupid! Don't look away. Look at me."_

_Kili's distraught hazel eyes, and tear stained cheeks angered Fili. If he could get his hands on Anders right now, he'd pulverize the arrogant bastard that broke his brother's heart._

_"You're too good for him. He doesn't deserve you."_

_Calming down, Kili sniffed, and wiped away the tears. "Apparently I'm not good enough because he said wants to see other people."_

_"His loss. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Fili brushed back long strands of Kili's hair to see his face. "You're smart. You're loads of fun to be around. You play hard, and work hard at everything you do. You're a great brother, and friend, and you'd selflessly do anything to help anybody. And I know you pour yourself into your relationships. Anders is blind, if he can't see how amazing you are. Not to mention you're the hottest guy I know."_

 _Instant warmth flooded Fili's cheeks. Kili's eyes shot up, waiting for his brother to smirk or laugh about making such a statement, but he wasn't joking._

_"Do you mean it?"_

_Fili surpressed the urge to laugh or call him some rude endearing name to hide his embarrassment over the slip, but sincerity prevailed. Kili was hurting. One look into those sad hazel eyes, and all he wanted to do was comfort him._

_"Every word of it."_

_Kili's hand laid heavy on Fili's chest rising and falling faster as his heartbeat quickened._

_"You really think I'm hot?" Drunken Kili brushed noses with Fili, bringing their lips dangerously close._

_Unexpectedly Kili's demeanor morphed from melancholy to seductive, teasing his brother's lips for a kiss. Alcohol coursing through his veins lowered his inhibitions, fueling his need for what he wasn't going to get from his boyfriend tonight, temporarily forgetting the equally desirable man holding him was his step-brother. "Do you want me, Fee?"_

_Navigating a confusing maze of thoughts and feelings, Fili was lost. He swallowed thickly. He never would've asked for this, and never seriously thought of Kili this way, but this very heated moment was pulling him in. He couldn't deny how much he wanted this. Honesty was the only path he could choose clearly._

_"Yes." Fili breathed, pressing their lips together. All self-control was abandoned along with any rational thinking, letting his hand drift from Kili's arm down to unfasten his jeans. Opportunity presented itself in the most unlikely way, and yes, god yes, he wanted this._

_Fumbling out of their clothes, Kili spread himself out on the couch. Letting his eyes rake over Fili's fit body, he licked his lips focusing on his impressive cock. He was horny, in dire need for relief, and Fili was surely going to fulfill that need._

_He never would've guessed his older step-brother he'd always admired would've consented so easily, anymore than Fili ever let such lustful thoughts for Kili enter his mind._

_Settling between Kili's thighs, Fili wasted no time mapping every dip and curve of his brother's tone body with his hands, lips and tongue. Nipping and sucking a mark into the tender flesh of his neck, Kili moaned with pleasure, spreading his thighs wider._

_Entangled together, Kili's touch was welcomed fire against his skin. His cock never felt so good buried this deep inside someone. Every muscle that flexed beneath silky skin was burned to memory. He never wanted this to end. Kili was beautiful in every way. Breathing in his brother's musky scent mixed with the cologne meant for his loser boyfriend, aroused him even more._

_Anders never deserved to touch his brother this way. No one did! Suddenly possessive, an overwhelming feeling took ahold of Fili. What started as an emotionally charged need to release sexual tension, awakened something intensely unexpected for him. No one knew Kili the way he did, nor could they appreciate him the way he deserved to be treated._

_Getting each other off, Kili held the weight of his brother tight, breaths still coming fast. He slipped his fingers into Fili's long curls, and kissed him once more. "Thank you."_

_Fili paled. Kili just thanked him, for what? Thanks for a good fuck? He returned the gentle gesture of threading his fingers into Kili's soft, dark curls. "I love you, Kili. I think I've always been in love with you."_

_The alcohol clouding Kili's judgment was fading. 'What just happened?' Fili was his teenaged wet dream, but 'Holy shit! Of course I love him, but did he just say he was 'in love' with me?'_

_"Stay with me." The words turned bitter on his tongue. The look on Kili's face was incredulous as if he'd been shot with a poison arrow._

_"Let me up." Confused, Kili wanted out of this awkwardness. He hurried to the bathroom, and closed the door. Cleaning himself up, he pulled on his clothes, and checked the mirror. The bruise on his neck wasn't going away anytime soon._

 _'Fuck!' What was he thinking? What the hell was Fili thinking? He was drunk, at least he had some excuse, but what was Fili's excuse for being so easily persuaded? Was he really in love with him?_

_Rushing through the living room, he grabbed the bottle of vodka, but Fili caught him by the arm. "._

_"I'm sorry, Kee. I didn't mean...."_

_Kili pulled away, and shook his head. "You're my brother. That's all you'll ever be to me. I'm sorry for coming here drunk. I'm sorry I came to you at all. I should've never come here."_

_Ashamed and embarrassed, Fili's heart pounded with regret. "I'm so sorry, Kili! Please don't go! Talk to me!"_

_His brother's broody look of disgust was the last he saw before he closed his eyes, falling into a troubled sleep._

*

_"What the actual fuck, Fili? Why did you say you think you're in love with me? You're my brother, for godsake!"_

_Fili's unannounced visit to Kili's apartment early Saturday evening panned out to be more disastrous than last night. " **Step** -brother!"_

_"Like that makes it any less awkward to know my **step** -brother's in love with me." Kili snorted, and smirked. _

_"I never forced you into anything, you came onto me! I'm sorry about what I said, but none of this would've happened if you hadn't..."_

_"You could've said no. You wanted it as much as I did. I was drunk, and horny, but if I remember correctly, you were sober. When exactly did you realize you were in love with me?"_

_"I...didn't mean to say I was 'in love' with you, Kee. I'm sorry. It just came out that way, but I do love you. You're my brother."_

_"I'm sorry I came onto you, but fuck. Sex is sex, and when you said you were in love with me, it really creeped me out." Kili eyed his brother curiously. "I need to come to terms with Anders dumping me like he did. And you...I don't want to talk about this anymore, and I don't want to see you for a while."_

_"Kili, I'm sorry, please..." The apartment door slammed in his face. Nothing he could say was going to change Kili's mind. He knew his step-brother well enough to know this conversation was over for now, but he wasn't going to let it go._

 _For now it was his turn to sit at the bar, and wallow in his misery._

*

Numerous texts and calls went unanswered. There was nothing to talk about as far as Kili was concerned. He had better things to do with his Sunday afternoon like scrub toilets and clean out the fridge, than talk to his ex-boyfriend, or brother about Friday night. He was determined to avoid both of them until he was ready to face either one again. 

Startled from his thoughts, someone knocking on his door set his heart pounding. Quietly he peeked out the peephole, and exhaled in relief. There was an older lady standing there waiting patiently for him to answer. 

"Flowers?" 

The friendly delivery lady smiled, handing over the beautiful crystal vase of deep velvet red roses nestled in delicate baby's breath. 

"Quite a lovely bouquet! You must be very special to someone." 

Kili agreed, staring at the _"I'm sorry-forgive me?"_ written on the small card. Whoever sent these must have had a lot of money to throw around. 

That ruled out Fili. 

_"Anders..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for all the kudos, comments, and stopping by to read!!! You're continued support is always appreciated :)


	3. Chapter 3

_'How did I get here?'_ Stretching like a cat, Fili groaned, shoving laundry off his bed. He hadn't been this drunk in ages. Searching for signs of an overnight guests, he flopped back down relieved he was indeed alone. 

Once the haze of alcohol lifted he remembered being at the bar, and why he drank so much. He remembered going to Kili's apartment to talk. The talk that turned into an argument. 

It wasn't the first time he and Kili had a falling out, and most likely wouldn't be the last, but the subject of this argument was, to say the least, shameful. 

Kili came to him drunk and upset, needing comfort and understanding, but instead Fili lost all self-control and took advantage of his distraught brother. It was wrong, and to make things worse, he told him he was _in love_ with him. 

Fili closed his eyes. 

All he could see was the hot mess lying beneath him; those dark, bewildered eyes looking up at him so awkwardly confused. 

There had been no regret. 

No regret until he realized how much he had upset Kili. 

He regretted adding to his emotional stress. His fragile brother had enough to deal with over Anders breaking up with him. 

Despite his regret and attempt to hide the true nature of his feelings, Fili couldn't deny it any longer. Not anymore. 

Fili really was in love with his step-brother. 

Unfortunately, those feelings would be locked away, safe from harm. Exposing his heart only to realize he was nothing more than a convenient, casual fuck to Kili was painful when his brother made it abundantly clear he did not share the same feelings for him. 

They were brothers, and that was that. 

~*~

The hallway outside the hospital operating room was quiet for the moment aside a low conversation between the new, young surgeon, and an orderly. 

Janitors Fili and his roommate, Bard worked in silence mopping the floor, oblivious to what the two men were talking about. 

"Anders." Fili muttered, and aggressively whipped the mop from the bucket, whacking his co-worker in the face with the handle.

"Whoa! Hey! Take it easy! What's up, Fee?" 

Bard rubbed the sore spot on his forehead. Surely that was going to leave a mark. 

"Obviously you're mad about something, but shit, don't take it out on me!" 

"Sorry. I was thinking about Anders dumping Kili. I'd like to snap that arrogant twat in half."

"Kili's a big boy. He'll get over it."

On the contrary, Fili knew better. No one including Bard knew his brother like he did. 

*

"Here ya go." 

Kili strapped on his bicycle helmet, and took the courier package from his manager. Glancing at the address label, his heart leapt into his throat. 

_'JPR'_

"You okay?" 

Gripping the package tighter, Kili asked, practically pleading to get out of this, "Is there someone else who can make this delivery?" 

"I thought Johnson was your partner." 

_"Was."_ He responded curtly. 

"Oh. I-I'm sorry, Kili, but we're short-handed, and very busy. You're going to have to make the run." 

Normally Kili loved his courier job, but having to make this run to his ex's business was going to be painful. It was inevitable eventually he'd have to make a delivery there, but wasn't expecting one this bright Monday morning so soon after their breakup. 

Stepping inside the PR office, he slumped in relief. Anders was nowhere in sight. 

"Be right there!" Dawn sang out from the other room.

This could be a quick drop and run, if Anders' assistant would just hurry up already. 

"No worries, Dawn, I got this." 

Every muscle in Kili's body tensed as Anders appeared through the doorway. 

"Ah, yes! Punctual delivery as always, Kili. My plan worked brilliantly."

"What plan?"

Anders swaggered over, took the package from his ex's shaky hands, and tossed the empty box on Dawn's desk.

"Did you like the flowers?"

Kili mentally kicked himself. Of course Anders played him! Ordering the fake delivery for himself just to get him there.

"What do you want, Anders?" Kili asked, taking a step back as his ex moved closer. 

"To tell you in person how sorry I am. How wrong it was of me to even think about seeing anyone else. I must've been temporarily insane to ever think I could find anyone that could measure up to you."

Piece by piece, Anders took apart the wall Kili built to resist him with ease.

"Look at you. You're gorgeous, intelligent. Perfect in every way, and I don't deserve you." 

Anders had Kili pinned against the wall, and wanting nothing more than to leave his fingerprints on those lean hips.  

"I love you, Kili. I'm sorry. You forgive me, right? You're still mine, aren't you?" 

Kili nodded, drawing him in for a heated kiss. Every attempt to resist Anders failed. The gentle touch of his hand smoothing over his hair, caressing his cheek; the sweet admiration for him melted the thin layer of ice protecting his heart. 

Modesty wasn't a virtue Anders held in high standards. Shedding his clothes and most of Kili's, he would've taken him right there on Dawn's desk, if she hadn't interrupted. 

"Oh!" Dawn gasped, averting her eyes. "Could give me warning, Anders!" 

"Like you're virgin eyes never seen a naked man before." Anders quickly found his credit card, and held it out for her to take. "Make yourself useful, Dawn. Go buy us some coffee, and take your time." 

Dawn snatched the card on her way out, and grumbled, "And some disinfectant." 

After locking the door behind her, Anders smirked turning his full attention on Kili, guiding him to the leather couch. "Now where were we?" 

A pang of jealous shot through Anders finding the dark purple mark on Kili's neck as his long hair fell away. "You weren't too upset about our breakup, I see. Who was it?" His lover's reaction was enough to satisfy. "It's alright. You had every right." 

Kili closed his eyes. 

Groping his body everywhere, Anders hard cock pressed against his. A vision of Fili hovering inches from his face swam into focus. 

_'I love you, Kili.'_

_'You're my brother.'_

Anders hummed and moaned, grinding down on him, "This is where you belong, Kee. Here with me. I promise I'll never be so stupid to leave you again. I love you."

Kili kept his eyes closed. 

"I love you, too." he whispered. 

*

Bard sloshed his mop into the bucket. 

"He's been watching you."

Fili looked up curiously. "Who?"

"Doctor Mitchell." 

Following Bard's head nod, Fili caught the hot, young, surgeon grin, readily looking away rather embarrassed. 

The blond janitor snorted, "He's out of my league. What would a guy like him want with me?" 

_Ridiculous._ Fili continued to mop his section of the floor. Bard rolled his eyes, following suit.

Completely distracted, staring at Fili, Doctor Mitchell slipped on the wet floor. "Whoa!"

Hooking an arm around the taller man's waist, Fili's fast reflexes saved him from falling. "Careful!"

"Thanks." 

Strangely enough, Fili found himself feeling as if he'd seen the doctor somewhere before. "Didn't you see the wet floor sign?"

"Sorry, mate. You distracted me." Still held in the janitor's strong arm, Mitchell smiled mischievously. 

That smile was every bit as charming as Kili's endearing smile. Fili helped the doctor stand on his own, and shook his offered hand.

"My name's Mitchell. John Mitchell. And you are?"

"Fili." 

"Think maybe I could thank you properly for saving me with a drink later this evening, Fili?" 

Ducking his head in embarrassment, Bard caught Fili's eye. Clearly he heard what his friend was encouraging. "Sure. Okay." 

*

Nervous didn't begin to explain how Fili felt waiting for Mitchell to show up at the chosen pub, though the sick heaviness in the pit of his stomach lifted the second Mitchell sat down at the bar next to him.

He was easy to talk to, his laughter was contagious, and his smile lit up the room. 

Finding out Mitchell had only been a practicing surgeon for a few months, and was as deep in debt as he was, Fili was relieved to know they actually had more in common than he ever imagined. The young doctor was very down to earth, and he had never been so relaxed around anyone he just met so quickly. 

Hours into their conversation, Mitchell brushed an arm against Fili's, and teased, "I'm glad I slipped on the floor next to you." 

Fili grinned, letting his dimples show. Sliding his fingers up and down the cold beer bottle, he enjoyed the warmth of Mitchell's arm pressed against his, and wished to feel more skin contact than just his arm. "Glad I was there to catch you."

Shaking his long raven curls, Mitchell found the blond just as charming. The motion of Fili's fingers sliding up and down the wet bottle caused his tight jeans to get a little tighter. Subsequently, he squirmed in his seat, and cleared his throat. 

Their eyes met. Something stirred between them as Mitchell's eyes grew even darker, and more serious, slowly shifting his gaze from Fili's blue eyes to his lips, and back. 

"Would you come home with me?"

It was an offer Fili couldn't, and didn't refuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder, Mitchell is not a vampire, and he's not up to anything devious other than falling hard for Fili ;)  
> Sorry for such a late update! Thank you for reading!!  
> I appreciate all the kudos, comments, and support of this story!!


End file.
